


you put the cracks in my moral code

by Kareh



Category: RWBY
Genre: Past Abuse, no explicit romance stuff but you can tell its there, there is hand holding tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 03:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kareh/pseuds/Kareh
Summary: In the aftermath, Blake wonders what it means to be good.





	you put the cracks in my moral code

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote all of this months ago but I had no idea how to end it and I saw the new outfits and Blake's hair, and suddenly it all became clear.

As much as she hated to admit it, Atlas was kind of beautiful.

Or, at least, her current view from the living quarters that General Ironwood had arranged for them was. But then again, Blake supposed that the sunrise could make even the ugliest of things seem beautiful.

Their first few days in Atlas had been surprisingly uneventful, primarily because they were all but confined to the living quarters that General Ironwood had arranged for them. He had arranged for them to stay in a hotel that looked far too fancy for them – and that didn’t appear to have any other guests. They had separated into their respective teams, claiming a suite each and with the adults in rooms of their own. It wasn’t like they were formally forbidden from exiting – but it was clear from the constant military presence that they wouldn’t be going anywhere alone for a while. With food and even new clothes being brought to them, they didn’t need to. 

Blake was glad, in a way – her first few hours of Atlas hadn’t filled her with much desire to explore. They were immediately swarmed, their ship searched and all of them questioned -individually - by military personnel. It was hours before they were finally permitted to leave the military base (with their military escorts in tow, of course) and managed to get some well deserved rest. 

It wasn’t like anybody had been explicitly rude or disrespectful to her – not in a way that Blake could really complain about, at least. Polite smiles would turn into frowns as soon as their eyes found her ears, and their attention would immediately turn to whoever else was present – as if Blake was nothing but baggage. All questions and interactions would be directed to whoever she was with, but never to her. Under normal circumstances, Blake would have been very irritated – but she found herself too tired to care.

Blake sets her mug down on the table with a clank as Yang all but stumbles into the small kitchen, wearing her pyjamas and rubbing sleep out of her eyes. Neither of them make a move to immediately greet each other – they don’t have to.

“How long have you been up?” Yang breaks the silence, after a couple of minutes of opening cupboards until she finds a mug of her own. She reaches the breakfast bar where Blake is sitting with the coffee jug in hand. She nods to the empty mug beside Blake, “Refill?”

“A while,” Blake admits, sliding her mug across the bar towards Yang, who tops it up. Yang doesn’t bother to return the jug to the stand, seeming to deem it as too much effort and instead, slides into the bar stool across from her. They sit in silence for a while, sipping their coffee. It’s peaceful and comfortable; something that Blake took a long time to get used to. With Adam, silence was a warning sign and she would end up rambling through, trying rapidly to figure out what mistake she had made up and come up with an excuse – as if she could talk away the storm that was soon to arrive.

“What do you think makes a person bad?” Blake asks, suddenly, as Yang reaches for the jug of coffee again.

“Yikes,” Yang says, sharing the last of the coffee between their mugs, “It’s a little early to be contemplating morality, don’t you think?”

Blake reaches for her mug, wrapping her hands around and relishing in its warmth. Even indoors and with a new jacket – she still feels cold. 

“I don’t know,” Yang says, eventually. “I mean...If you’d asked me before, I would probably have said something like...”

_Murder_ .

Yang doesn’t say it, but she doesn’t have to. Blake nods her head in agreement. They haven’t talked about it yet. There hasn’t been time.

“Hey,” Yang nudges her with her foot after a few moments of silence. “What are you thinking about?”

“That from his perspective,” Blake says, careful to control her voice, “I was the bad one. I was the one who hurt him. He said I hurt him the most. I broke my promise and I abandoned him and I- I _hurt_ him-”

“He was a psychopath, Blake” Yang interrupts, suddenly, her grip tightening on her mug of coffee. “He hurt a lot of people. He hurt you. He wasn’t a good person.”

“I’m not a good person either!” The words come out of Blake’s mouth before she can think too much about what they mean, “I was complacent for so long and… I did a lot of bad things when I was with him. I know that what I’ve done as part of this team is good but...what if it’s not enough?”

She sneaks a glance at Yang’s face, but if her partner is taken aback by her outburst, she doesn’t show it. Yang waits with an uncharacteristic amount of patience for her partner to continue.

“I used to think that it was so simple,” Blake looks back down at her half empty mug, “That people were either good and bad, that actions were wrong or right. But it’s more complicated that. Adam...Adam wasn’t always bad. When I met him, he had lots of friends. He was well liked and respected. People would describe him as smart and funny and kind. And all of those words…they were true. He _was_ all of those things…and he did a lot of good things. He helped a lot of people. He saved a lot of people. He saved me so many times. But then he…he changed. He was so angry, all the time. He became so full of hate, and I couldn’t recognise him anymore. He was-”

“A psychopath,” Yang supplies, earnestly.

“Misguided,” Blake says, at the same time, and Yang shrugs. “He had the right idea to begin with…but the way he went around it was wrong. But he couldn’t see it. He never got it. He was so convinced that he was doing good, but what he was doing was wrong. He could have taken all of that pain, all of his anger and his power and made something really good come out of it. I just – I don’t understand why he didn’t just...do... _better_. I tried to get through to him. I really did-”

Blake cuts herself off, suddenly aware that she’s rambling and that there are tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Yang reaches across the table, carefully prying Blake’s hand from her mug. Blake takes a moment to focus on the feeling of Yang’s fingers entwining with hers. She lets out a shaky breathe. She looks back up at Yang, suddenly worried at how she may have interpreted her outburst.

“I don’t regret it,” Blake says, meeting Yang’s eyes. “I hate that it ended the way that it did and I wish there could have been another way but I don’t regret it. I don’t know if it’s right for me to think that way about killing someone but...I can’t regret something that kept you safe.”

“Both of us,” Yang murmurs, looking at their joined hands, “It kept both of us safe.”

Blake gives her partner a small smile. Her thumb twitches under Yang’s as she resists the urge to pull Yang’s hand closer.

“You’re good, Blake,” Yang squeezes Blake’s fingers. “You’re so good.”

“How do you know?” Blake asks.

“I don’t think that a bad person would lose sleep because they’re worrying about whether or not they’re a good person,” Yang says, and Blake huffs out a laugh.  
“Probably not,” Blake concedes.

“ _Definitely_ not,” Yang corrects, flashing her a grin that Blake can’t help but return.

They fall into another silence as they finish the remains of the coffee. Neither of them makes any move as to untangle their hands. Blake runs her free hand through her hair –  stopping just above her shoulders.

“I think,” Blake sneaks another glance at Yang, “that I want to get this cut.”

“Yeah?” Yang pushes her empty mug away from her. “You should do it. In fact, I’ll do it! No – actually, that probably isn’t a good idea. I’ll mess it up. Maybe you should ask Weiss.”

“Maybe you should ask Weiss what?” Weiss appears in the doorway, with Ruby trailing behind her, as if on cue. Blake and Yang let go of each others hands almost immediately, though it feels silly. It’s not like their teammates haven’t seen them holding hands before, or that they would make a big deal out of it – but still. It’s not like the feeling between them is new, but showing and talking about it is.  
Yang nudges her, and Blake realises that her teammates are looking at her expectantly.

“Will you cut my hair?” Blake asks, suddenly feeling kind of shy.

“Oooh! That’s a good idea!” Ruby exclaims, “We should all get haircuts!”

“Nope,” Yang’s foot finds the counter as she pushes back on her seat, “No one is touching my hair.”

It still takes her back, and Blake thinks it probably always will, that her teammates are so supportive.  It’s not like cutting her hair is a big deal in the grand scheme of things, Blake knows that, but the years living under Adam’s control with little to no autonomy makes it seem bigger.

“Are you sure?” Weiss asks her, carefully. Blake nods her head, squashing down the doubts in her mind that sounds suspiciously like Adam’s voice.

“Yes,” Blake says, firmly. “I’m sure.”

* * *

Come and talk to me about the bees on [tumblr ](http://www.cinnarina.tumblr.com):) 


End file.
